I know that in other places, there seem to be some exception made to this rule. Not everyone agrees with these exceptions. And I am not sure yet myself. But that's not the point of my post here.
My point here is this. Jesus seems to forbid most (if not all) remarriage after divorce. This is a hard teaching, especially for someone who finds himself or herself divorced at a young age. Another thing that makes it hard is this: Many who are divorced have children. It's not hard to understand the woman with young children who wants there to be a man in the house to help care for her children as they grow up - even if that man is a stepfather, rather than a natural father.
Somehow, this is what I got to thinking about this afternoon. If Jesus is right (and I believe He is), then he is saying that a single mom should not remarry (discussion of exceptions aside for now), even though she thinks it would help her children. Would Jesus really command something that would be less than the best for children who are not to blame for the situation they find themselves in.
I think that Jesus' command is still best for those children. And here is why: When a child has a mom who has been abandoned by her husband and she chooses not to remarry, her whole life communicates something to her children about the sacredness and permanence of marriage. If she were to remarry, her kids would have a man around. But they would not understand that marriage is a special and important as it is.
It seems to me that the commands of Jesus present us with this implication: It is more important for children to learn that marriage is sacred and permanent than it is to have a man in their household.
Of course, this doesn't mean there can't be a man in the lives of those children. Even if their natural father is not around, other men can play an important part in the lives of those children - even if they don't sleep or live with their mom.
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So- remarriage is a worse sin than others- worse than adultry? I thought Jesus forgave the adultress? (or is that part missing in your bible?) I find hard to accept that Jesus finds divorce worse than murder, stealing, lying, etc.
ReplyDeleteThis is a position I hope your wife never finds herself in. If she does, there are many Christians who will embrace her and encourage her to remarry.
Shirley Cress Dudley, MAMFC, MARE
SWBTS class of 1990
www.BlendedFamilyAdvice.com
Shirley - Thanks for your comment. I'm not sure that in my post I said that any sin is worse than any other. I certainly did not intend to suggest such an idea. I was simply trying to suggest an explanation for why Jesus might forbid remarriage in some cases (which he does by calling it adultery in Matthew 5:32) when our common sense might think that it is better for children that their mom or dad remarry. I tried to suggest that children can benefit from what their parent's (or parents') willingness to remain single after divorce could teach them about God's design for marriage - a relationship that reflects the relationship of Christ to His church.
ReplyDeleteAs for my wife, I too hope that she never finds herself in such a situation. She is a wonderful and beautiful woman and I am sure that she would attract many suitors. And if there are Christians who would encourage her to remarry, I hope that they would be Christians who believe that the experience of marriage is not the most satisfying and joyful relationship experience that one could have. This, my wife and I both believe, is the relationship with God that will be fully enjoyed in eternity by those who repent and trust in Jesus. Repentance may be hard. But it will be worth it.